There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock