I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
