if i died would you start the facebook group?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
