you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize