Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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