I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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