i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I want to walk on stilts...naked
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
