a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
