Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
