her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
