But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
