dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
