i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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