since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
