You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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