She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
