I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Church boner. Awkwardddd
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
