Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize