"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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