Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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