I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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