No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
