like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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