I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The air was thick with penises
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
