What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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