Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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