went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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