im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
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i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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