I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
