so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize