My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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