He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
