Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
