oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
