My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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