She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize