there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
His nipple licking is glorious
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