well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
