Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize