3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
