i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize