the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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