we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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