Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
