Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
