I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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