Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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