I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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