after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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