I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
