Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
