Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
