Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
