You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
