I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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