was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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