just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i think i just lost a toe
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize