I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You need Xanax blowdarts
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
