yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
