Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
