Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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