He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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