so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
